My Epileptic Life

Normal. An interesting word that can be interpreted in so many different ways. What is normal? As a society we class certain behaviours and lifestyles as being normal. Living in a house is normal, going to work or school is normal. Spending hours of your life navigating your way through the supermarket with a wonky wheeled trolley is normal. As we are all individuals we all have different ideas of what normal and normal life is. Many of our lives however, fall into society’s interpretation of a normal reality. How many times have you heard people say “I lived a normal life until” I have heard people say that phrase so many times. When we experience something bad or negative that changes the course of our lives we refer to our past as our “normal   life” Life before things changed. We yearn for it back, for the time when we did things by rote. We yearn for the familiarity and comfort our previous life gave us. The problem is life is full of twists, turns and changes. Nothing sta...

Before I get into the nitty gritty of this blog let me start by saying that the saddest part of writing this blog is the fact that I have written blogs addressing this issue many times before and this experience is not the only one I have ever had relating to my disability. How incredibly sad is that. OK on to the nitty gritty. Once again, I find myself in a position where I must defend myself and my disability. (for anyone who is not sure yes epilepsy IS a disability). Not only have I found myself having to defend the fact that epilepsy is a disability, but I have also had to defend myself for having it (for the second time!). Please let me just make one thing perfectly clear before I move on … NOBODY and I mean NOBODY would ever choose to live with epilepsy. Ever. It is embarrassing, painful, exhausting and life changing. Having the condition is not my choice it is just a card I was dealt. Over the past seven years I have realised that shouting and arguing does not help ...

Someone once described epilepsy as being a bit of a roller coaster, with a few ups and downs. Let me tell you if it’s a roller coaster it’s the big daddy of them all. It’s not the gentle ladybug kind that you find in the children’s section at Lightwater Valley, that gently glides around a track two feet from the floor and is so gentle you don’t even need to be strapped in. Oh no, it’s the kind that requires 16 harnesses , 11 safety checks, a couple of prayers and a declaration of love to your children before you even set off!.  There are very little gentle parts to the ride that is epilepsy. Unlike the ladybird roller coaster, you’re moving so fast, often with your eyes squeezed tightly shut, that you can’t see what’s coming next, you can’t predict the drops or turns so you just have to hang on and go with it.  One minute you’re feeling fine ... and then you’re not One minute you’re seizure free ... and then you’re not One minute you’re buying yoghurt ... and then...

Any of you that have been reading this blog for a while will know that I always have a headache. I can’t remember a day when I’ve not had a headache. Some days the pain is just like an annoying niggle that can be ignored with the help of a couple of paracetamol. On other days, it feels like a ten-ton elephant is dancing on my head, wearing stilettos and a sparkly tutu. On those days, no amount of paracetamol, ice packs or crying is going to shift it. I used to take stronger painkillers but they’re not healthy for you (and I am already unhealthy enough) so I stopped taking them. Sadly, Nelly the elephant has yet to receive the memo telling her river dance in my brain has been cancelled. I asked on twitter for some ideas on how to stop the headaches without strong medication. I got lots of replies and lots of good ideas, so I thought I would give them all a try and see which ones, if any, work best for me. A couple of people suggested meditation in a dark room, possibly wi...

On the first day of epilepsy, it gave to me A loss of all my dignity On the second day of epilepsy, it gave to me A revoked driving licence and a loss of all my dignity On the third day of epilepsy, it gave to me 3 purple bruises, a revoked driving licence and a loss of all my dignity On the fourth day of epilepsy, it gave to me 4 pairs of wet pants 3 purple bruises, a revoked driving licence And a loss of all my dignity On the fifth day of epilepsy, it gave to me 5 EEG’s 4 pairs of wet pants 3 purple bruises, a revoked driving licence And a loss of all my dignity On the sixth day of epilepsy, it gave to me 6 hospital visits, 5 EEG;s, 4 pairs of wet pants, 3 purple bruises A revoked driving licence and A loss of all my dignity On the seventh day of epilepsy, it gave to me 7 banging headaches, 6 hospital visits 5 EEG’s, 4 pairs of wet pants, 3 purple bruises A revoked driving licence and A l...

Ooohh mentioning any police force is always a little risky isn’t it. There are always going to be those people who are anti-police for one reason or another, often because they have had a negative experience with the police ….or they have been locked up!. If you are one of those people hear me out and keep on reading , let me explain to you how my negative experience turned into something positive and beneficial for more people than just myself. OK, now we have got that out of the way, grab your brew, settle in and lets get on with the story. When I was first diagnosed with epilepsy it was uncontrolled and I could have a seizure at any point in the day. Obviously it was all new to me and I wasn’t always aware of the auras I was experiencing or indeed my triggers, to keep myself safe. Picture the scene, I had been to the cinema with some friends on a Saturday evening. By the time the movie finished it was about 10.30pm. Where I live the cinema is on the ground floor of a build...

I always find April to be a month of mixed emotions. April is probably the most difficult month of the year for me. It is the month I lost my Dad. As soon as the first of April rears its head I can physically feel a heaviness in my heart, pulling me down a little. This feeling will last the whole month and I know it will, but I have learned to be OK with it. April also brings Easter and without a doubt Easter is the RAC for my heart. Sometimes I wonder if it was a little bit of divine intervention that my Daddy passed away the same month as Easter, to help my heart heal a little quicker. Easter means different things to different people, for some people it means chocolate, for others it means family time and for others it relates more to religion and faith. All options are fine, particularly the chocolate one. I don’t often choose to talk about my faith, not because I am ashamed of it, but because it is deeply personal, and I feel that the relationship I have with my heavenly f...