Epilepsy and toxic friendships

Epilepsy and toxic friendships 

If we are all honest with each other, and ourselves, we will all agree that we all have experienced at least one toxic friend in our lives. If you don’t know what a toxic friend is it’s a friend that isn’t good for your wellbeing. That friend that is always causing drama, or putting you down or that friend that only talks to you when they want something or talks about you behind your back. Those are toxic friends. 

You don’t have to have epilepsy to have toxic friendships but I have found that I have experienced more of them since my diagnosis. 

Recently I decided to cut all those toxic people out of my life and let go of all the negativity that went along with being friends with them. It just wasn’t good for my emotional health to have those people in my life. Let me give you a few examples of some of my experiences of toxic friends and the reasons why they were so bad for my health. 

First up we have the “self obsessed friend”. The friend who can’t see past themselves and their own needs long enough to consider anyone else’s. In a way epilepsy makes me a crap friend sometimes because I can’t always keep arrangements or plans. My really good and really awesome friends understand this and are totally fine with it. Those toxic self obsessed friends moan and complain because their own needs for someone to hang out with so they can post a picture on Instagram are not being met!. 

I don’t know about you guys but I like to talk to my friends about my feelings and the things that are going on in my life and I like to listen to my friends tell me about their lives too. Feeling like I’m not being listened to does nothing for me .... so bye bye self obsessed friend. 

Next up is those “fake friends”. You know the type I mean. They’re really nice to you when they see you, all hugs and air kisses and asking how you are, offering a sympathetic look when you tell them your epilepsy isn’t great .... then they trot off and talk about you with other people .... “she looked alright to me when I saw her” ...”it can’t be that bad” etc etc. When you see them in the street they act like they really care about how you are. Erm well if you cared that much love why haven’t you ever called me or text me to see how I am?. You can bet your last pound that these kinds of toxic friends have never once asked me any questions at all about my epilepsy ... yet when they’re bitching in their witches coven they will think they know it all. Over the past couple of years I have encountered so many of these types of toxic friends and worried so much about what people were thinking, saying and doing that I actually started to make myself ill. So this year all those type of toxic people have gone in the chuck it bucket. 

I can honestly say since I have cut those toxic people from my life and stopped caring so much about what other people think I am so much happier.  I am blessed with some wonderful friends who continuously bless my life for the better. Some of my friends live far away and we don’t get to talk all the time but when we do talk it’s like no time has passed at all between our conversations. One of my best geek friends is a boy called Eddie. I say boy but he’s 35 and practically middle aged. He listens to all my problems, watches superhero films with me and constantly bullies me in a way that only a true friend can. With people like that in my life why would I ever need toxic friends?.