Teaching with epilepsy: Classrooms, creativity and chaos

Teaching. A challenging job with or without epilepsy. In all honesty my epilepsy doesn’t have much of an impact on my ability to teach. I have spent my life winging it and that’s pretty much what I do with my teaching career. There is a rare breed of teachers that have got all their shit together, are ready for September before the summer holidays have even started. I, however, am not one of those teachers. My planning is mostly in my head, I never have a pen and have only recently mastered the use of one drive. I do, however, care a great deal about my job and my students and will always do my best to help and support them.  

My lack of organisation, inability to use technology and consistent lack of stationary are not new traits brought on by epilepsy. They were there well before my diagnosis. They are, however, made worse by my epilepsy and the inevitable brain fog that tends to follow me around and is about as welcome in my life as the grim reaper is in a care home. Brain fog makes me forgetful. I forget where things are, what I'm supposed to be doing, the occasional child’s name. The usual stuff. When you throw that into the pot with my already lacking organisation skills it’s a miracle I even arrive at work never mind teach lessons. I’m just waiting for the day when I forget what my job is and just start randomly tidying the shelves in Morrisons, although this probably would not be a top job choice as wearing green makes me look like a fat gherkin and I would be constantly worried someone would come along and try to stick me in a jar. I blame my lack of stationary on my poor memory too. I never have a pen because I put it down and then forget where I put it. I sometimes attach one to my lanyard but then I forget that it's there. I can’t count the amount of times I have inadvertently forgotten a pen is attached to my person, resulting in random drawings appearing on my chest, nothing says this teacher has got it together than a rather abstract smiley face drawn across your boobs. You would think I would have learnt by now not to wear white. In relation to technology, just the word alone strikes the fear of God into me and makes me develop a nervous twitch, I can't have bright white flickering screens flashing in my face all day like some cheap version of Blackpool illuminations while I am attempting to create an engaging powerpoint for a group of 16 year olds that would rather be anywhere other than sat in a classroom. As a result of this I avoid using technology as much as is humanly possible. Makes my teaching life more difficult. Saves me from seizures which to be honest is probably more important than an all singing, all dancing powerpoint. Not sure how the charming staff in the Learning Resource Centre, or the library as it would have been referred to in the olden days, would feel about me doing the worm along the bookshelves. I imagine one would ignore me, one would have a nervous breakdown, and another would get me an ice pack.  

Over recent years I have developed some strategies to combat the difficulties I experience when teaching.  

The first one of which is letting others know you have epilepsy. There is no shame in it. People can’t help you if they don’t know what is wrong with you in the first place. I always tell my students too. I teach 16+ learners and they are, for the most part, mature enough to understand what I am telling them. If you teach primary school children it's probably best you don’t share the information unless you want parents knocking down your classroom door to complain their child is having nightmares. Of course some youngsters are going to make comments that may be hurtful or offensive, but once you have spent a year living with a teen who hates you because you are making them study for their exams, you’re not really going to care what other people’s teens think. Sometimes, and this is probably my biggest strategy for coping with life not just teaching, you’ve just got to laugh it off. Epilepsy sucks, brain fog sucks and there are times when it is embarrassing. I once forgot to teach half a lesson … during an observation as well. Embarrassing as hell but also actually pretty funny. The reality is my epilepsy is not going anywhere. I can choose to be miserable about it and cry every time it inconveniences my life. Which is every day, or I can choose to be positive, accept it as a part of me and laugh off the inconveniences. That’s what I do. I am a permanent source of entertainment in my staff room. Mainly for my inability to remember stuff but also for my amazing quotes which according to others are not that common. I have grown up believing “that's your own pigeon” is a common phrase. Apparently, it is not. My final strategy, and one that I find myself needing to use more and more, is keeping the tech guys on side. If you struggle with technology like I do you are always going to need them to show you how to use the newest system or teaching tool or, in my case, fix whatever it is I have broken. You can see the look of horror and despair cross the staff in the learning resource centre (library|) faces as soon as I approach the door and I am pretty sure they play rock, paper, scissors under the desk to decide which unlucky soul gets to help me. I do my best to be nice to them though, I always give them my best smile and cross my fingers that they won’t get mad at me. Having the tech team on side is the best thing you can do as a teacher. Personally, I am not against bribery, bake them cakes if you have to. Do whatever it takes to make them your besties and you will just about survive the academic year.  

Teaching, just like epilepsy, is a rollercoaster. It has more ups and downs than a tart’s knickers and there will always be days when you feel like giving up. Epilepsy increases the chances of those days occurring, but it also increases the sense of achievement you feel when you overcome all the challenges, deliver amazing lessons and help your students achieve.  So, strap yourself in, embrace the challenges and enjoy the ride. Oh, and stock up on pens. Lots and lots of pens.